Teitan High School Host Club
by Shimizu Hikaru
Summary: ...There was a music room at the end of the corridor on the third floor. Opening the door, you would be greeted by flower petals and a bunch of idiots called themselves 'Hosts'...He wondered what he had done to get dragged into it. Kind of dropped.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary**:…There was a music room at the end of the corridor on the third floor. Opening the door, you would be greeted by flower petals and a bunch of idiots called themselves 'Hosts'…No, he was not going to join them.

**Genre**: Romance/Humor/Drama.

**Warning**: AU, OOC-ness, shitty English and kind of following the plotline of manga Ouran High School Host Club ^^…maybe shota too? Possible crack…plus illogicalness x3.

**Pairings**: KaiShin (for sure) and various pairings ^^ (not all are serious though).

**Disclaim**: (For whole story) I own nothing, neither DC/MK nor Ouran High School Host Club ~^^!

**A/N**: Because I'm high on reviews so I wrote and posted without really thinking…And I've broken my vow…now that I have three stories going at once, how am I going to live? And the one-shot for Valentine too! And the one-shot I've been thinking about too! *dies*…Hey, my penname's last name is the same as one of the twin from Ouran's name~!

…

_Prologue_

…

…My name is Kudo Shinichi, a 16-year-old famous high school detective, The Detective of the East, the Police's Savior, Modern Sherlock Holmes or whatever people want to call me. But it was the past, because I am not just a snobby six-year-old kid, Edogawa Conan that never gets taken seriously.

You ask why am I a little kid now? Well, let this be a secret between us, okay? I'll tell you about that fateful night…

That day, when I was celebrating my friend's, Mouri Ran, victory of her Karate Championship, I saw two suspicious men dressed in black and my detective blood told me to follow them…which I did.

Then I witnessed them have a suspicious transaction, when I was caught up watching the deal, I failed to notice the man's companion sneak up behind me.

They fed me some kind of potion that was supposed to kill me without leaving a trace but it didn't. Instead, it made my body shrink ten years younger and here I am, under the name Edogawa Conan, following their trail and I vow to bring them to justice and also, get my revenge on them for shrinking me.

…but actually, the main story (romantic one~) starts one nice day, when my mom, Kudo Yukiko, announced that I would be attending Teitan School, which has Elementary school- where I will be attending, Middle school and High school. It is also my old school where I would still be attending High school level had I been Kudo Shinichi and not Edogawa Conan.

She has also prepared a room in the dormitory for me, where I will be roommate with an upper student who will also be my caretaker during my time at the school.

…My mother is a sadist, I'm sure.

…

Teitan is a school for rich children of rich people who are either rich or famous and rich. Generally, the school is for the rich. Or if you are not rich children of rich people who were either rich or famous and rich, and you want to attend the school, please study your best, study days and nights and you have around twenty percents of being able to join. But don't worry, once you're in, everything will be free!

The staffs, teachers and even cleaners are all excellent at their work. They all should have graduated from all the famous colleges you can think of. And thus, the quality of the school is very, very good.

It has three large buildings, one for Elementary level, one for Middle level and finally, one for High level. Aside from that, it also has four dormitory buildings for students who want to stay at school. The cafeteria always opens and has all the food in the world which is cooked by famous chefs from France, Chinese, Japan and ect.

The school and its buildings are equipped with high technology, decorated with the most beautiful things which cost millions and millions yen which the school gets from the rich students who are children of rich people who are either rich or famous and rich. You get the point? Good. If not, use your imagination, the school was everything you could ask for.

...No, I'm not hired by the school's headmaster to put up the ad about the school.

…Seriously. I swear.

…

…Conan yawned for the nth as the teacher continued to rattle about how ten plus one equal eleven. Seriously, he was sixteen already, why the hell was he still studying these lessons?...Right, because of those men in black…he was so getting his revenge on them.

Glancing up at the clock, the not-child willed the needles to move faster, after this torturing Hell, he'd find a nice and quiet place to see how Holmes had solved the cases…ah, such nice idea. And come to think of it. His roommate was a detective too and he liked Holmes too, that made it even better. The two of them often talked non stop about their shared idol in their free time and during that time, he forgot that he was supposed to be a child, who wasn't supposed to argue about this and that with a semi-adult…But it seemed that his companion also got lost in the moment, forgetting that he wasn't supposed to argue with a child, whose intelligence could rival his.

The bell then rang and Conan quickly gathered his stuffs, shoved them into his backpack then he ran for the door before the three troublesome children decided to follow him around and rant to him how he should join the Detective Boys to put his skill into use. While the club sounded nice, he wasn't about to run around to find missing cats or pens, general missing pets and things. No, thank you very much.

…Conan chose the Elementary School's libraries first, two of them and none of them met his expectation so far. The little kids played in there, despite the librarian's effort to keep them quiet. The poor woman tried, he knew but due to be afraid of the kids' complain to their parents then their parents' complain to the headmaster which would lead to her lost her job, the poor librarian could only do so much as telling them gently…Those spoiled brats…and they were sent to school to know what was real life too. Real life didn't have people serve you in everything, y'know.

Then he decided to just go to the High School's libraries, four of them, and they were all nosy because of the girls that gathered there to chat and giggle and generally babble to each other instead of working on the projects they were supposed to present the next day…and the sight of a six year old reading English book in the High School's libraries was going to attract people's curiosity which was dangerous because he was supposed to lie low.

…Damn those men in black again!

Then as he was tempted to return to his dorm and read there, he suddenly remembered the music room on the third floor of the High School part. If he remembered correctly, three years ago, when he was still Kudo Shinichi and still in Middle School, one of his friend, Suzuki Sonoko had rambled excitedly about the haunted music room on he third floor of the High School part and Conan really hoped the rumor was still there-…Don't blame him that he was rarely interested in rumors around the school, that mean the room would be free because no one would dare to come there and he could just read there!

Perfect.

The not child grinned as his legs carried him in the long corridor to the room, he got some odd glances from the other high school students but he ignored them all. One of the girl had stopped to ask him if he was finding his older brother or not and that was when his mother's trail in him woke up. Flashing her a childish grin and in the cutest voice he could muster, Conan told her that yes and when she offered her help he told her that 'Thank you onee-chan but I'm fine on my own.' The girl smiled and patted his head, telling him to be careful before going on her way again. The not-child sighed and headed off again.

When the room appeared before his eyes, Conan couldn't help but let a wide, un-childlike grin sweep across his face, oh, how sweet life was.

As he pushed the door open, he stared as from the inside, flower petals swept out in a gentle gust of wind. He blinked behind his huge glasses as people appeared before his eyes.

"…Welcome to the Host Club," the occupants inside chorused sweetly and Conan wondered what hell he had gotten himself into.

"…Princess."

…he also got the feeling that that year wasn't going to be pleasant.

…

_Chapter 1: Which type would you choose?_

…

"…What the hell?" Conan found himself saying that out loud as he finally saw the speakers clearly.

A boy with messy brown hair that still managed to look stylish was sitting on a chair, his violet eyes regarded Conan bemusedly and idly, the not-child could almost see the suppressed cheerfulness around him.

Behind him, a dark-skinned boy was grinning cheerfully, leaning down to place his elbow on the back of the chair, his green eyes twinkled with liveliness.

On the other side of the chair was a blond- who, to Conan's horror was his roommate, was leaning his back against the chair while his amber eyes looked at the clipboard in his hand and the watch in another intently.

And then, with his back to the dark-skinned one's side was another boy with dark skinned tone too, but he looked calmer than the other. His middle finger and forefinger were still on his glasses' sill as he was pushing the glasses up. On the left side of his forehead was a patcher.

Finally, the last one was another boy with glasses but his skin was pale compared to the others. His fringes were longer than a boy's should be and a kind smile was presenting on his lips as his eyes closed.

For a moment, everything seemed to freeze, the petals still flew around romantically that could have made a girl blush terribly as five pairs of eyes belonged to five fine young men were all focusing on her (*faints*)…

But in truth, all our little shrunken detective could see was a bunch of idiots…and what's with the 'Host Club' thing? He never knew his school had one!

"Well, well, well," the one in the middle, who was sitting on the chair stood up, one hand in his pocket while the other come up to finger his short fringe absently, "What do we have here?"

"A pint-size brat," the dark-skinned boy with green eyes started, his voice turned dry as he realized that, however cute our little detective was, he was clearly not a 'Princess'. Conan felt his eyes twitched, _'Well, sorry that men in black poisoned me and instead of killing me, it shrunk me.'_

"With huge glasses," the one with long fringes continued happily and Conan's lips' corner twitched, _'…Yours are not any better.'_

"…" the boy with glasses and dark skin didn't say anything and Conan found nothing to mentally note either.

"…My roommate," the blond said, his eyes flicked from his clipboard to his watch idly and all the eyes stared at him.

"Seriously?" the messy haired boy blinked then he glided toward Conan, lifting him up by placing his hands on the not-child's hips, "The poor child, have to share room with that bastard…" the not-child scowled faintly at the way the other was man-handling him. '_Oi, oi…aren't you supposed to not use inappropriate language in from of children?'_ then he added after a thought, _'Not that I'm saying I'm one though…'_

Violet eyes and blue ones locked for a moment before two pairs of eyes blinked.

"Hey! He looks a lot like me~!" the messy haired one cheered rather eagerly as he spun Conan around, getting the not-child dizzy, "Call me big brother, Glass-kun~! Ohhh, I finally have a little brother!"

"He certainly does," the blond nodded in agreement just as the green eyed boy plopped down on the chair the violet eyed one had sat in before.

"…What should we do with some lost brat now?"…Now, at least someone considered that he might be lost…but it seemed no one in the Club cared…

The messy haired one stopped spinning Conan around altogether to crush him to his uniformed chest, "How about treating him as our first customer this week?"

"…A nice idea! He might bring good luck to our Club," the boy with long fringe smiled brightly and suddenly, he slipped and fell on the ground with a loud thump, "…Since I always have the bad luck?"

"Agree," the green eyed boy nodded, his lips quirked up slightly, "It might be fun to show a little kid how adults work."

"…You call yourself adult?" the blond muttered bemusedly, finally looking up from his clipboard, amber eyes locked with green ones challengingly, "And it's not time to open the Club yet. Do whatever you want."

"That's decided then~!" the messy haired boy chirped happily and in a puff of pink smoke, Conan found himself dressed in a pink dress and his short haired was pulled into two tiny pigtails.

…For the God's sake…!

"W-wait, don't I get a say in this?" Conan piped in as he finally got his spinning brain back under his control. The violet eyed boy shot him a bright grin.

"Nope, just let big brother decide for you, little brother."

"A brat like you has something to say? Let me tell you, you should feel honor to have our attention like this," green eyed grinned brightly.

"…" the dark skinned boy with glasses looked like some sort of status as he observed his peers and the little not-child.

The one with long fringes finally stood up after his fall to smile at the not-child happily, "And you look cute in the dress, _Ojou-chan_."

"So, which one of us would you like to be in your company, _Ojou-chan_?" the violet eyed spoke sweetly into his ear and Conan's brain screamed, "Pedo-bear! Get away from him!"

"Would you prefer the silent but dedicated type, who will sit silently to listen to your troubles, our silent host- Kyogoku Makoto?" and the dark skinned boy with a patcher on his left forehead bowed silently.

"Or you like the wise and cool type, who can answer you almost all questions you have. Who will also treat you like a real Princess? We have a host called Hakuba Saguru." The bond cocked his head to one side, his clipboard magically disappeared to who-know-where as he smirked and bowed politely.

"Perhaps, you like a friendly type, who shall be your friend to chat about various things? Then you can choose our clumsy but charming host, Hondou Eisuke." The one with long fringes smiled brightly and held up a victory-sign.

"Maybe the passionate and hot-tempered host, who will protect you from everything you despite, will please you? So, We're sure our host, Hattori Heiji will surely please you." The green eyed boy saluted Conan mockingly as he flashed a wide grin.

And when Conan wasn't quite get over the dramatic show, fingers caught his chin and his face was gently turned toward the violet eyed boy. His violet eyes were sparkling and a charming smile on his lips, the background seemed to turn into a paradise of flowers and sunshine.

Blue eyes locked with violet ones and the boy whispered, "Or…Would you prefer to have me then? Who can be everything you want, cheerful, friendly, cool and ect, a multi-type host. Then I am Kuroba Kaito, at your service, _Ojou-chan_."

….And that was when Conan exploded.

"Shut up you idiots!" he snarled, "I am not a child and certainly not a girl! And you!" he turned to a wide eyes Kaito with his narrowed blue eyes, "Put me down this instant!"

Kaito complied without a second thought, setting Conan down and humbly stepping back to take cover behind Makoto.

The not-child stormed toward the chair and Hattori gladly stood up for him to sit down. Blue eyes glinted dangerously, as the curtains seemed to close on their own, making the room suddenly drown in darkness and the little detective looked just like an evil king…Let's forget the pink dress Kaito hat put him into, folks.

"From now on, I shall rule the world!"

…wait a minute, wrong line! Cuuuut! Retake the scene!

The entire room was drowning in silence until Eisuke broke it with another loud thump as he fell on his rear. That was when Makoto opened his mouth for the first time.

"…Then who are you?" he asked, his voice was dry and monochrome. Kaito poked his head up from behind to look at his 'little brother'.

"Yes! Who are you and what have you done to my cute brother!" he sobbed pitifully as he wailed about a tragedy of a pair of brothers, where the younger brother was taken away when he was just born and he- the older brother, had taken off to find his darling brother again. And when the brothers were finally reunited, the evil decided to possess the little brother's body…! Oh! The drama~!

"I am not your brother!" Conan yelled and evil flames burst up from behind the chair he was sitting on, making Kaito yelp and duck behind Makoto again.

"Listen clearly, you fools," Conan cleared his throat and his brain nervously informed him that something bad was going to happen but he ignored it for his mother's blood in him woke up.

"I am Kudo Shinichi and because of the men in black, my life has taken a dramatic turn. Having to live in a six-year-old body and act like a six-year-old, suffer massive boring school days and snobby rich children, not being able to act as myself! Do you understand the pain I have to bear?"

…Oi, oi…this isn't a dramatic and musical show…

"But no matter what!" he stood tall on the chair, "I shall bring those men to justice and get my body back!" and then, Conan basked himself in the clapping from the others in the room. It had been such a long time since he last was able to be in the spotlight like this…It felt nice…

"That was quiet a show, Kudo-kun," Hakuba smirked and Conan fell off the chair. For a moment, he just lied flat on the floor before he shoot up to his feet, looking cute and innocent like a sweet little boy…Again, let's forget the pink dress he was wearing, folks.

"What are you talking about, Hakuba-nii-san?" he chirped in the cutest voice he could muster but all he got back was amused looks.

"Well," Eisuke winked, "I did notice that Edogawa Conan appeared just sometime after Kudo Shinichi was rumored to go on a long case." Conan stepped back nervously…see? And he told his mother to wait a bit longer before admitting him into school but nooooooo! His mother just had to be like, _"I wanna see my cute Shin-chan in the cute uniform now~~!"_…Conan believed his mother took far too much pleasure from his condition…see? She was a sadist, for real.

"Mh," Hattori nodded, smirking, "I notice it too. And he's the hidden detective that solved most of the cases on the newspapers and TV too." Sweat started to form on his forehead…damn his detective blood for getting him shrunk then getting him to still ask Megure-san to send cases to him, through a secret email, of course.

"…His fighting and soccer skill are definitely Kudo's. I saw him fight with the bad guy days before. Especially the round house kick," Makoto spoke up quietly. Holy shi-, was it the case which he had fought with the kidnapper? How the heck did this guy know? Now he remembered, Makoto was the Middle school Karate Club's captain…why the hell he was in a Host Club then?

"…And the DNA matches too, also fingerprint and blood type," Hakuba tapped his clipboard in a rapid tune. Did he just gain another stalker?...Hope not, he'd hate having to change the room and lost someone who could talk about Holmes non-stop with him…And Hakuba had some limited editions about Holmes that he didn't have too! Oh God, he just hoped he wouldn't get so desperate that he would break into the blond's room and steal all the books to himself.

"…Now that we have your secret," Kaito stepped out from behind Makoto, one hand in his pocket and one under his chin, along with the wicked smirk, he looked absolutely dreamy. Damn, he was reminding Conan painfully of his old life as Shinichi…Curse those men in black again!

"…I believe we shall have a new host. We have been lacking one type after all."

…Now Conan knew he had just officially dug his own grave…He knew he should have gone to his room instead.

…Ohhh, poor Conan, he didn't know that his encounter with the Host Club was fate, I tell you, fate! That mean even if he had gone to his shared room with the blond, the Club would somehow take place there too.

xxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxx

…Yup, not the usual TBC…because I'm not sure v^^. I have some scenes for this in my head but two or three scenes can't make up a story v^^. So yeah, I'll write when the muse bites ^^. *runs off to start to type Forbidden*.

Well, you see, I ran off to watch Ouran HSHC again to get some inspiration for this then to the fanfic site :D. And the Hiitachin twins are wonderful muse for my KaiShin ^^. And I realize how deep I am in KaiShin mess for every time I read a fic about the two devil hosts, I always end up imaging Shin-chan in Kao-chan's place and Kai-chan in Hika-chan's role…*sighs*...I'm that hopeless...I guess.


	2. Chapter 2

**Genre**: Humor/Romance/Parody.

**Rate**: T.

**Warning**: OOC-ness, AU and my shitty English. Wait, let's not forget crack ^^.

**Disclaim**:…*blinks* I own everything that is mine~! Gosho-sensei can keep the boys to himself, I'm merely borrowing them for my sick fantasy~.

**A/N**: As always~! Thanks for taking time to read and review ^^~! And I believe I've turned this host club into a shounen ai haven x3…hope you don't mind? *swoons* have you guys seen Kaoru-chan in his college years 8D! The hair! The hair! Too much of a hottie~!

…

_Chapter 2: Hi! I'm the Shota Type._

…

Let's see where were we?

Oh right, our favorite shrunken detective had stumbled into a Host Club then he had had his moment and now, in this little chapter, he shall pay for his thoughtless actions.

"…No, seriously, what are you oniichans talking about?" he backed away while sweat began to form on his forehead.

His blue eyes were open widely and innocently as if they could hypnotize all the people in front of him and make them forget whatever had been happening. Then he would make his escape and never think about that terrible day ever again.

"Maaa, Kudo, you think you can fool us with those fake innocent eyes?" Hattori smirked and Conan mentally cursed him to hell. Damn it, damn it, damn it! He should have gone to his room instead!

"…Uhm…" and just when he had nothing to say to defend himself and was ready to run away- maybe phoning his parents and told them to prepare a plane ticket to an island that no one had ever discovered yet…Yes, he wasn't making any sense, you notice?, the doors were yanked open and he distinctly heard the males murmured 'it's time' to each other.

And then the room was full of the female students. Conan looked around with wide eyes as the girls seemed to enjoy themselves by gathering around the hosts that they liked.

"So long, Kyogoku-kun," a girl blushed as she stood in front of the dark-skinned and glassed host. The other hosts were all in the same situation as they smiled and greeted the girls.

And guess what was running through Conan's head?

_This is my chance!_

With that thought, he spun around and ran to the doors as fast as his small legs could carry him. But before her could actually escape, someone picked him up by the back collar of his shirt.

And then he was raised up to eye-level with a smug-looking Hakuba, "Still refuse to work with us eh? Kudo-kun?"

"….It's Edogawa, Hakuba-niichan!" Conan grinned brightly at him while his blue eyes narrowed in defiance. _Not a chance in Hell, pal._

Hakuba looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding, "I see…"

Damn, whatever respect he had for the fellow Holmes fan disappeared as Hakuba cleared his throat loudly, getting the room's occupants to him.

"My princesses," he smiled and the girls swooned, "Welcome to the Host Club. I believe us hosts have been missing your company terribly so."

Some girl blushed bright red as Kaito held her hand to his left chest and murmured sweet nothing to her while Hattori looked away, pretending to be shy as he mumbled something about Hakuba being right. But Conan knew better, his green eyes were glinting rather bemusedly at the way the girl blushed and told him that she too, missed them really much.

"…I want to start our Club activities right now but unfortunately, I have something that need to be announced first," the blond continued and Conan began to panic. _Don't tell me…_

"Then announce it, Hakuba-kun," a girl spoke up and it seemed that the girls finally noticed Conan as they whispered to each other while looking at the not-child child curiously.

"This is Edogawa Conan-kun," Hakuba smirked and looked at Conan smugly, "…he is a student in the Elementary level, he's in the class 1-B," then he paused for the dramatic effect, Conan was sweating furiously, _God, no, please just no_, "And he is Ku-"

"The new host, oneechans~!" a brightly sunny and sparkling smile went a long and at that, the girls screamed at the top of their lungs about how cute he was. Conan winced…now he got no room left to back out of this ridiculous Club.

Glancing at the blond, Conan shot him a dead glare which he got a smirk in respond then he was yanked out of his roommate's arms to be crushed against another uniformed chest.

"Don't man-handle my cute brother like that!" Kaito huffed, still hugging Conan tightly to his chest while Hakuba just shrugged carelessly.

"Okay," he clasped his hands together, "Please get to your booked host and seats, my ladies."

He smiled sweetly, "As for being able to be Edogawa-kun's first customer, my ladies," he held out a clipboard, "…It'll be a fair price."

"Me!" a girl screamed and immediately the other girls followed suit.

Conan groaned, bastard indeed, Kaito wasn't wrong when he used that word for the blond…

…

"…Kaito-kun, it was really lonely last night," the girl held her hand to her chest while tears prepared to roll down her chest.

"…Don't be so, my princess," Kaito handed her a white handkerchief, "Seeing you so makes my heart break and…" as the girl was taking the white piece of cloth from him, Kaito quickly grabbed her hand and held it to his lips, "…I am here by your side now, don't worry, my sweet princess…"

And as she fainted with a happy expression on her face, Kaito turned to another girl with a charming smile on his lips, "And what about you, princess? Did you dream of me last night?"

Conan shook his head bemusedly at how the second girl fainted under Kaito's charm before he too, turned a girl in his table with a bright grin, "So, one-chan, why do you come here?"

The girl he was asking was quite cute with her long brown hair cast over her blue uniformed shoulders. Smiling at him, the girl twisted her thumbs, "…Well…because come here helps me relax a lot." She looked around, "The atmosphere here is nice and well," she giggled, "All the hosts here are all hot."

Conan smiled along while his inner self was shaking his head.

But he had to admit…the atmosphere was nice with the beautiful plants here and there, then the sun shone into the room through the large windows brightly too. Everything was nice and relaxing…

"…Then Conan-kun, how did you become a host?" another girl in his table asked curiously and Conan scratched the back of his head shyly. _Mother, you should be proud, really._

"…It was fate, I guess?" more like stupid curiosity or his rotten luck.

The three girls in his table giggled at the way he chose words.

"How cute," they said while blushing brightly.

"And then guess what?" a loud voice echoed in the room and Conan's table's occupants turned around to see Hattori was waving his arms frantically, the girls at his table were looking at him adoringly.

"I tell him," he cleared his throat and continued in a lower and serious pitch, "'You can never escape the laws. You shall shoulder the sins you've committed.'"

And he bowed at the girls clapped.

"That was so cool of you, Hattori-kun!" a girl spoke up and the dark-skinned boy grinned brightly.

"Then there was another case which the kidnapper…" the Passionate type host continued but was soon cut off by Hakuba, who just happened to pass by his table.

"Please stop telling those stupid stories to our princesses," the blond deadpanned and Hattori glared at him, Conan raised an eyebrow as the girls at Hattori's table held their breath.

"What are you talking about, Hakuba-jerk-kun," the dark-skinned host smiled sweetly and Hakuba responded without missing a beat.

The blond leaned in until his face and Hattori's were mere inch apart, "I'm merely stating the facts."

And the three girls at Hattori's table fainted after shouting something like, 'beautiful rival relationship.'

Conan shook his head at the idiocy and he bit back any smartass comment just in time.

"Sorry for the wait," another cheerful voice echoed and Conan's glassed eyes followed a cheerful Eisuke as he glided past his table with a tray of drinks in his hands.

A few feet away, a group of girls was waiting for him while giggling to them.

Then it happened. Eisuke slipped on the not-slippery floor and he would have ended up on his rear on the floor if not for Makoto caught him by wrapping his arm around the smaller and pale boy's middle, while the other hand shot out to catch the tray with the drinks perfectly intact.

That did draw a few gasps from the girls as Eisuke looked up and Makoto looked down, their eyes met in a daze. A faint blush appeared on the pale boy's cheeks as he stammered a 'thank you' while getting back to his feet.

Makoto looked as indifferent as always at first but when he turned away, a quiet 'be careful' could be heard clearly. And some girls swooned. Conan wondered what all of that were.

"Neee Conan-kun," a girl addressed him and Conan turned to her with wide innocent eyes, "What kind of cakes do you like?"

Honestly, he answered, "Lemon Pie." And immediately, a dish of Lemon Pie was thrust in front of him. Blue eyes blinked in confusion as he looked up and saw Kaito grin down at him.

…What's with this idiot?

"…yes?" he asked, still looking up in confusion.

"For my little brother~!" Kaito's grin widened as he lifted Conan up before sitting down and placing the not-child on his laps, ignoring the shrunken detective's protest.

"Say ahhh," he cooed and held up a piece of cake to Conan's mouth, the girls blushed at the sight…as did the not-child.

And reluctantly with his cheeks still heating brightly, Conan attentively allowed the cake to go past his mouth while glaring at the fellow host, who was beaming brightly at him like a child.

Chewing absently, the not-child wondered again why he didn't go back to his room to read instead. And he wondered how long would he have to suffer this ridiculous Host Club.

…It was going to be a long time, dear Conan-kun.

xxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxx

It's just me or that Hakuba does suit the Shadow King's role? Next chapter we shall meet Sonoko and Ran then, if the plan in my head doesn't decide to change by itself :3.

Naturally, I enjoy writing Kaito in his hosting mode, guess why? Because I can unleash my cheesy lines which I use pretty much in real life xD. Though I usually flirt with the girls and occasional boys but well, you know, I flirt with girls most of the time which earns me a 'Pervert' title~!...I believe I've flirted with some of you here too :3.


	3. Chapter 3

**Genre**: Humor/Romance/Crack.

**Rate**: T.

**Warning**: OOC-ness- esp on Hakuba's and Makoto's parts, AU and my shitty English. Wait, let's not forget crack ^^.

**Disclaim**: I own nothing~!

**A/N**: As always~! Thanks for taking time to read and review ^^~!

And of course, there'll be KID…though he's not going to be the KID from canon x3.

And the whole BO is just there to have Shinichi shrunk and as I said in chapter 1, the main story shall be the romantic one xD. I'm not intelligent enough to deal with things related to the BO or FBI or…Whatever, let's leave the FBI to deal with the BO while Conan-tan deal with one Host Club x3.

…

_Chapter 3: First Love._

_Part 1_

…

…he knew it, the moment he stepped inside that cursed room, his life would be turned up-sided down. He just knew it!

The facts that he had to see Hakuba everyday was bad enough, they shared a room, you know and to be honest, Hakuba acted as if he hadn't been the jerk that had forced Conan to join that stupid Club which made Conan annoyed, really, then see those idiots at 3 pm every Saturday was another tiring thing and now, they just decided to see him outside the Host Club too.

…For example, right then.

Monday, two days after that fateful day, he had just grumpily gathered his things and prepared to leave- run before those kids could catch him and insist that he should join the Detective Boys, the door of his classroom was then opened and guess what he saw?

…Idiots and idiots…Minus for Makoto because he liked that silent guy, not to mention he was once his captain in the Karate Club back in Middle School too, duh.

Upon seeing him, a wide grin tugged at the most idiot of the idiots' lips and before he could run, Kaito was already holding him up cheerfully, ignoring the looks and stares they were getting from the kids.

"Good afternoon~! Conan-chan~!" he swung Conan around happily, which made the poor boy get all dizzy and dizzy…urg.

"Put me down!" Conan yelled, trying to stop his spinning head but no avail and then, he mentally thanked Ayumi, who stepped in and stopped the madness with her cute question.

"…Who are you, mister?" she asked, looking up at Kaito with wide eyes.

Kaito stopped his happy reunion with his proclaimed little brother to look at her, the grin turned into a nice smirk. Conan, who was already dizzy by then, glared at Kaito unsteadily…Pedobear.

Then the boy was handed to Makoto, who held Conan against his chest almost automatically- Conan wondered if the third year student really wasn't a robot…Well, he had been like that, silent and strong even in his Middle years…And Conan didn't really mind, he'd need a sane one to keep himself sane in all the madness that was going on around him.

…Like what was happening then.

Comically plus dramatically, Kaito knelt down before Ayumi, his eyes dropped to half-lidded before a rose suddenly appeared in his hand.

"…My apologize, Princess," he murmured and Conan rolled his eyes, really, indeed pedobear.

"I am Kuroba Kaito, a second year student in the High School," he smiled and handed her the rose which Ayumi took with a shy smile.

"Hey you! Get away from Ayumi!" two boys' voices called and Kaito everyone looked up to see Mitsuhiko and Genta glared at Kaito angrily.

…haha, jealous love-sick boys, Conan rolled his eyes in a not-amused manner while he was still being held by Makoto.

"Oh, what do we have here?" Hattori spoke up and stepped into the classroom fully, a smirk on his lips as he glanced down at the two boys who glared up heatedly.

Conan had to admire the kids for the courage to stand up for their friends.

Hattori then glanced back at Kaito, who gave a nod before the green eyes boy crouched down before the boys.

"You know, guys, if you don't act fast, your princess will be snatched away," he started and the boys blinked at him.

"…Well…she doesn't like us…" Mitsuhiko stuttered, looking down ashamed.

"All thank to that shrimp," Genta said, glaring at Conan, frustrated.

"Did you hear?" the blond said bemusedly as he stood by Makoto, who was holding Conan, looking at the scene before him, "They said you stole their princess," then his golden eyes glanced at Conan, "You do have some charm after all, eh?"

And he ignored the bored glare that Conan was sending him altogether.

"Aw, poor boys," Eisuke also piped in, sighing dramatically, "I say we do something to help them."

"We're already doing," Hakuba replied and the clumsy boy blinked.

"We are?"

"Yes, we are."

With that said, Hakuba stepped forward and he also crouched down before the kids, "How about take classes to become a gentleman?" he suggested with a sweet smile.

"Every girl likes a well-mannered and sensitive boy who can act according to her moments and place her emotions, well-being on top of his own."

And the rest watched as Mitsuhiko and Genta looked up at Hakuba with wide and admiring eyes.

"I'll take the class!" both boys chorused and if possibly, Hakuba's smile widened.

"Excellent! Then please come to the Host Club when you have free time," then he whipped out a clipboard from no where, "…now, let's us discuss about the fee."

And Conan would have fallen face first to the ground if Makoto hadn't been holding him.

"Isn't that illegal?" he asked thin air, "That he's manipulating children into doing things?"

"Nope, not at all~!" Kaito answered cheerfully before taking Conan back from Makoto, who gave the not-child away without resisting.

"They'll become gentlemen to please their loved ones," Eisuke explained cheerily, "And we get some profit from it so it's great deal for both parties~!"

"And our Club's policy is that 'Everyone is happy, no one gets sad or lonely', don't you know?" Kaito continued happily as he nuzzled his nose into the not child's hair.

While trying in vain to free himself from the multi-type host, Conan mumbled back a 'No I don't'…yet, his inside fluttered funnily at that, the wistful tome Kaito used when he said those words.

…And you know, stupidity followed those idiots every where and when they were gone, the said stupidity also followed them, leaving Conan to deal with the consequences, meaning, questions and questions from the kids about those nice oniichans.

…which mean headache for Conan. And that also led to the amused looks Hakuba sent him when he got back to their shared room.

…Which mean more headaches.

...Urg.

…

Then in a blink of eyes, it was Saturday again and that mean his second day at the Club.

Grumpily, he pushed the door open and then, he was greeted with an Army of five.

"…What the?" that escaped his lips without him noticing as he stared at his fellow hosts, who were all dressed in green military uniforms that were of course, tailored a bit to suit the fashion.

"You are late, Edogawa-kun," Hakuba said, amused at the way he stared at them.

"Lateness is not allowed in an Army, you know," Hattori tch-ed way too cheerfully while Eisuke was busy adjusting his uniform hat that kept falling off his head for no reason at all. And like always,

"But my little brother is allowed to do whatever he wants~!" Kaito quickly defended the shock-frozen boy who was still standing at the doorway with a hand on the doorknob.

Makoto shot him a blank look.

"What's going on here?" Conan finally got his sense back just in time to ask and step fully inside, closing the door behind him.

"Ah, to keep the Princesses from getting bored," Kaito explained and marched toward Conan to pick him up- did that idiot have some kind of man-handling feisty? If not then why the hell did he always man-handle the poor boy?

"We have to change the theme once every while and our King decided on the Army theme," Hattori continued, linking his hands behind his head and looking up- a perfect picture of boredom.

"…Stupid," that was all Conan muttered back.

"Ah! We have to get you changed too!" Kaito exclaimed then processed to run to the changing room, "I have this real cute tailored uniform for you~!"

And the rest of the Club looked at the disappearing pairs- "Put me down, damn it!", "Noooo, don't be mean to your brother!", "I'm not your brother! I refuse to be related to an idiot!", "Aww, denial gets you no where, Ototou-chan~!"- with an amused expression.

"…King's getting happy these days huh?" Hattori smirked and Eisuke laughed.

"Edogawa-kun is good for our King uh?" the pale boy continued, "…Do you think he's enough to help King get over his first love?"

"…Who know," Makoto spoke up, startling the others, "…Only time can tell." And his glasses gleamed, plus the uniform, the dark-skinned upper-class student looked really scary, like a real, stoic soldier.

"Geez, Kyo-senpai, warn us the next time you decide to speak," Hattori complained, "You'll startle me to death one of these days."

Makoto only shot him a blank look…like always.

Hakuba shook his head bemusedly at his peers before clapping his hands together, "Hurry to your places, guys! The Club is about to open!"

XxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxx

…The theme was picked because I am obsessed with hot anime guys in military uniforms *drools*.

…I'm feeling lazy, dead tired after classes and classes then homework and my time of using the computer is limited and I want to up today so yeah. *counts* hey~! Once part two is up, we get to see KID in chapter 4~! Then if it flows, there'd be Shinichi as well~!

…**A historical AU bunny is stirring in me O.o. And I've got four three on-going stories and one in hi-status…should I add another monster to the piles?**

Some reviews would be nice ^^~!


End file.
